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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

BOOK REVIEW: The Language of Love & Respect

The Language of Love & Respect
(This book was previously released as Cracking the Communication Code.)

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs believes that when a woman learns to speak respectfully and a husband learns to speak lovingly, they reflect the “Jesus Way of Talking”.   From various surveys and years of talking with couples, Dr. Eggerichs has found that the biggest problem in marriage is a lack of communication.

If you have previously read Love & Respect, then Chapter One of The Language of Love & Respect  will be a review of the Love & Respect Principles.  If you’re anxious to get started on improving your communication skills, you might want to skip to Chapter Two.

This book repeats some of the information from Love & Respect, but I think that the advice is definitely worth repeating.  It has been proven that learning is best with repetition and unless you’ve been able to perfect your communication skills, review is always good.

If you’re not aware of what the “Crazy Cycle” is, it can be summed up as this:  Without love, she reacts without respect.   Without respect, he reacts without love.   Simple in theory, but effective when you concentrate on acting Christ-like in your marriage.

While this book makes many good points, one of my favorites was that we should try to look at our spouses as Jesus sees them.  Make sure that you fairly represent your spouse’s spirit – give your spouse the same grace and mercy YOU want them to give you.  Successful marriages are those that look for and believe in their spouse’s goodwill.   When you have unrealistic expectations in marriage, you end up having problems.   Your spouse cannot meet all of your needs – only God can meet all of your needs.

I do have some theological differences from the author in regards to his view of forgiveness (in Chapter 7) but overall, this book is a great resource if you are looking to improve communication with your spouse.

This book was provided free for review by Thomas Nelson Publishers

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